Zero A. Technology

Right ! Ever since I was about 9 and used to read Smash Hits I`ve always dreamed of doing one of these. (Honest !)

Zero Technology

Star Profile

Date of Birth 15/04/64 Place of Birth Whalley, Lancs.
Hair Brown Eyes Blue
Height 5' 7" Weight No Scales
Favourite Food Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes Favourite Sweet Whispa Gold
Favourite Drink Banana Thickshake Favourite Vegetable Mad Mark
Favourite Pokemon Electabuzz Favourite Wine Aaargh me shoulder`s killin`
Kind of Things I Like

Erm ? Music ? Fillums and reading books, Motor Sport, playing Blood Bowl, walking in the countryside(if it`s sunny) Magic the Gathering

Things I Don`t like Getting up in the M word, Going out in the rain, working in factories, getting jerked around by goddam assholes Alright !
Bands I Really Like

Clash, Tansads, Pogues, Levellers,Chumbas, Dead Kennedys, Offspring, Tmtch, TV Smith, CCR, MC5,Tmbg, Weird Al, Cypress Hill, Edie Brickell, Focus (UK), Iggy, SLF, Buzzcocks, Reel Big Fish, Inner City Unit, Red Elvises, Punishment of Luxury,

Bands I Dont Any band with 5 members and no instruments, Directionless techno music, Any of the bands available from the Peter Barton Agency . Also the Pixies really get on my tits.
Favourite Artists

M.C. Escher, H.R.Giger, Carlo Andre, Jim Fitzpatrick, Heironymous Bosch, Warhol, Josh Kirby, Hannah Milburn

Favourite Poets John Cooper Clarke, Lemn Sissay,
Favourite Fillums
Why I liked it
Raining Stones Tough down to earth story of the pressures brought upon a poor family by the expectations of their peers and the Church. With excellent humour and anguish
Lord of the Rings Obviusly someone so deeply lost in a fantasy world as me was going to love this. I read the books ages ago and so many people went to so much trouble to make the film that little bit special that you gotta admire the result. To be critical the 2nd film was best, I saw no need for a 20 min drawn out ending to No3 after you`d been in the pictures for 3 hours already and were dying for an Ogden Nash. Why didn`t they just stop at minas tirith with everyone bowing to the Hobbits and save the rest for the Extended DVD. Eh ?
Snatch This was probably the best gangster film ever made. I f**king hate gangsters me. This is Brad Pitt`s best film, that is really acting. Half these hollywood tossers are the same charachter in every film. I could act this out myself I`ve seen it so many times.
All of Me Neck and neck with "Dead men don`t wear plaid" for funniest Steve Martin film, Praka clinches it for this one.
Attack Girls Swim Team Vs The Undead Not sure why the plot of this film needed a 20 minute schoolgirl lesbian scene in the middle but who cares?
Brazil Any film by Terry Gilliam will do for me but this is my favourite, it blew my mind at the cinema after sponge and dope custard and I have lived ever since chasing the romantic dream it started.
Evil Dead 2, Every one a classic but my all time hero Bruce`s antics in the 2nd with the furniture and our boy laughing maniacally as he hacks off his own hand with the chainsaw is classic slapstick.

What`s eating Gilbert Grape ?

Softee and Yankee but I loved it, definitely JD and LDiC`s best movie.
The Lion King I love most Disney films but the music made this even better than the Jungle Book and Aladdin.
Farenheit 451 I used to write songs based on Ray Bradbury stories. Yeah that each person shall be a book let them also be a song.
They Live It`s all totally true man.
Dark Star I love the dialogue between the existential captain and the mindful Bomb. The best film I`ve ever sampled from.
Favourite Books      
There is a Happy Land Unknown Tryin to say last time I read a decent book was when I was at School ? I can smell the cut grass and gas tar still.
A Clockwork Orange Anthony Burgess

A masterful study of morals and the freedom of choice whose ending was ruined by Kubrik leaving Alex`s self realisation unrevealed. To learn from and not mimic.

I still don`t think the world is ready for this on video. Specially not for 2 quid on the car boot.

Moving Pictures Terry Prarchett I just Larfed and Larfed
Angela`s Ashes Frank McCourt My most recent one this and an enthralling read. Equally amusing and tragic written in a most original style.
Weaveworld Clive Barker Poor old Clive went just a bit to sicko for me but this one wouldn`t let me put it down.
Peter and Jane at the Seaside   Really great action in this one I especially like the bit where they put the seashells all around the sand castle. But then here comes Pat the dog and cocks his leg on it. "Don`t piss on the sand castle" says Peter, "Don`t piss on the sand castle" says Jane, but Pat is a dog and doesn`t know what the woof they`re on about and pisses all over it anyway so now they have a yellow moat. Oh shit ! I hope I haven`t spoilt it for you by telling you the ending. Sorry!
Fly Fishing J.R. Hartley Just taking the Pisces.
Things I`d watch on Telly (If I had one) Red Dwarf,(day and night) Motor Racing, Nature Progs, Wallace and Gromit, Fast Show, Royle Family, Pokemon, Dark Angel, Terminator-The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Horizon, Best Music Videos Zero Technology's Pre Frontal Cortex - Phucked up Farmacy, Offspring - Kids Aren't all right, Paul Simon - "Boy in the Bubble", - Weird Al - "All about the Pentiums",(any weird al vid especially the fan vid of which bsb is gay?)- They Might be Giants - "Don`t Let`s Start"
Best Things That ever happened to me Hannah Banana, Jasmine, Meeting Ian, Getting sacked from Express, Being taken in by Strangers while travelling and enjoying their hospitality, Worst Things That ever happened to me Being Born(I`m never going through that again), A crash course in the Scottish penal system, Living in a warehouse full of dog shit.
Total Hero`s

Weird Al, Joe Strummer, Shane MacGowan, Paul Whitehouse, Mick Carr, Tiff Needell, Nyge Hell, Janet Tansad, Gillian Lowens, East Bay Ray, Captain Sensible, Ian Dury, Billy Connolly, Dave Lister, Mad Edgar, Radiskull and Devil Doll,

Total Dorks

Murray Walker, Kurt and Ritchie, Frismo, Simon Cowell, Anyone from Big Brother,

Sexiest Girls Oh wouldn`t U like 2 know Hunkiest Guys Even more so !
Good Points Nice, Gentle, Friendly Bad Points Nasty,Aggressive,Antisocial
Why are you weird? I`m not Weird Yes You Are !

No I`m Not

You`re A Schizo I am Not Then why are you interviewing your self with a typewriter ? Right That`s it I`m not speaking then.Prying into my private thoughts you nosey bunch of.....Go on get lost the lot of you !

Somebody call a Psychoanalyst.